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Neither are comments about a person being your sweet juicy fruit Nubian black queen. Don’t call anyone “ethnic” or “exotic.” The people who do are interested in finding someone they can introduce as “My Black Girlfriend Jean” rather than plain “Jean.” See also: Commentary on how much he loves women with your body type. What It Means: I spent my college years yelling “KISS! So for men who like girls who like girls: You like lesbians and bisexual women. But I’m pretty sure you aren’t messaging me just to let me know that you support basic civil rights (although you might be messaging me to let me know that you’re a homophobe).

I understand that mainstream pornography has led you to believe that any woman who says she’s bisexual is down to touch anyone’s genitals, anywhere, under any circumstances.

(As a Silicon Valley firm, we have been in the online dating business for over 17 years!

Around this time two years ago, I created an online dating profile. I wasn’t opposed to dating, but I had exhausted the friends of friends category. She advised me that online dating probably wasn’t the path to a relationship, but it would get me out of my dating rut.

But an equally important component of the online dating game is sending visual cues to potential dates about what kind of person you are.

The shirtless photo says, simultaneously, “poor judgment” and “The Situation.” See also: The “look how desirable I am because I am surrounded by hot girls” photo. What It Means: I’m not very intelligent, and/or I’m lazy. When you message me to say “letds f cvk,” it’s unclear whether you would like to have intercourse or associate with the law firm of Cosgrave Vergeer Kester LLP.

At a time when women are told that we’re getting too old and successful to find suitable partners, online dating offers us the buffet of options men have traditionally enjoyed.

Of course, buffet-style dating strikes a lot of people as overly consumerist: You’re evaluating potential mates not based on any real-life connection, but on a set of characteristics they list on a website and a curated set of self-shots.

Some men have learned to obscure the ugliest parts of their personalities on online dating sites, hoping you won’t notice their jealousy issues, racism, or stupidity. This list often includes the phrase “no crazy chicks.”What It Means: I’m not so stable myself.

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