Furthermore, many asexual people feel very private about their asexuality, so it may not be something they’re comfortable talking about right away.
Most people ask David’s asexual identity interacts heavily with his gender, class, and racial identities because of the sexual expectations of those identities.
David thinks that there’s something wrong with how we talk and think about intimate relationships.
He thinks considering people single if they don’t have a certain kind of relationship is hurtful.
It’s specifically flawed in ways that make it difficult for asexual people to engage in.
David rejects that there’s only one kind of relationship that counts, and that there’s a particular course that a relationship must take.
The first person I interviewed was Gaia Steinberg, 24, from Israel. She’s an activist in the feminist, sex-positive, and asexual communities. He has been in a leader and activist in asexual community for ten years, was active in campaigns to take asexuality out of the DSM, and was featured in the documentary Asexual people are not a monolith, but I asked Gaia and David to tell me about their own experiences with the community as a whole and their own personal understanding of dating while asexual.
Remember that no one person sees dating or sexuality exactly the same way as another, but I hope that this serves as a jumping off point for giving you some insight into dating while asexual.As a leading activist, David and fellow advocates are trying proactively to address this issue as a community, but whiteness is very entrenched still in the way asexual identity is talked about.It’s not an asexual person’s responsibility to come out until asexuality is widely accepted.However, something that still confuses people is how asexual people navigate dating!So, in order to demystify this concept for people, I spoke with two asexual activists in order to try to better understand dating in the asexual community.The set of associations for a white guy, for instance, heavily influence how he is perceived, what scripts he received on how his sexuality should work, and so on.